pocket knife

I felt deeply sad today, and not just because I'm quite alone and hamish is gone on another grand adventure. The town just felt complety deserted and half the population gone. The young half. There was a noticeable lack of thirty and unders in the grocery store today and on the streets. Both firefighting and tree planting seasons start now and today is the monday that marks the beginning of the summer season. It felt like the day after a party, or like we were survivors, or left overs... it felt terribly lonely and not like revelstoke at all.
I rented a metal detector and walked along the trails once more, trying to find my portuguese pocket knife, the christmas present from john that mysteriously fell out of my pocket when ham and I were tapping birch trees two weeks ago.  Nothing.
And another heartache; I lost one of my absolute favourite earrings yesterday, the lilac dangly beads, and it might have been on the bedroom floor when ham and I were saying an intimate goodbye, but maybe at the storage unit, earlier, wrestling furniture. Or at point when I took off a sweater, anywhere...
And it's such a gut wrenching feeling for me to lose something I treasure, especially those little inanimates that form an identity and hold memory... so gut wrenching I should probably come to terms with the fact that every single relationship has an end, even if it's to a mountain, or earring or treatment room or tall rubber tree.
But also, I want my super power to be the ability to see exactly where lost items are. Sometimes it's just so mysterious I think they've simply evaporated.